Jin Lu Zi Lao
by RedMenace
Summary: An older fic of mine I'm thinking about continuing soon. It's about Ranma being chased by a different Amazon. This has a more conventional feel than my other fics, I think.
1. Default Chapter

A Ranma ½ Fanfic by PansutoTaro5925

DISCLAIMER: Ranma ½ is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Video. I make no claim to these properties. This fic not to be distributed for commercial gain.

* * *

Viruses are funny things. For such a tiny little thing, they can really mess with someone's life, or many people's lives. 

Ranma Saotome's life got changed by a virus.

Strangest thing is, he never even met the person who had it.

* * *

Shampoo sneezed several times in a row, then attempted to stagger out of her bed. "Great-granddaughter, you're in no condition to go anywhere," Cologne said, bringing her a bowl of hot broth for Shampoo's unsettled stomach. "Lay down and get some rest." 

"Great-grandmother, I must prepare for the tournament," Shampoo said. "It would bring shame to our family not to have any fighters in the tournament. Don't worry about me; I am strong enough to- URP!" Shampoo retched, barely managing to hold down the water and crackers she had eaten before.

"Shampoo, you are barely strong enough to eat, nevermind train. Get back in bed. Here," she said, handing Shampoo the broth, "an ancient Amazon secret, passed down from generation to generation, which held many an emperor in amazement!" Shampoo giggled at her great-grandmother's mock-pompous praise of her special broth. It still tasted the way she remembered it, rich and spicy, seasoned with rare herbs and cooked with rarer skill.

"You would let our family go unrepresented in the tournament, then, great-grandmother?" Shampoo asked in between spoonfuls of warm broth.

Cologne was quiet for a moment, watching her heir. "No. I was going to ask Mifa to join the tournament in your stead." Shampoo gasped, then scrunched up her face in confusion.

"Mifa? Great-grandmother, the other Amazons hate my cousin. She goes against Amazon tradition." To Shampoo, that was very bad but ultimately tolerable. That her great-grandmother was willing to overlook it as well was surprising.

Cologne was silent for a while, before lowering her voice. "I have no choice. You and she are the only ones old enough and skilled enough to enter and bring honor to our family." Cologne looked at Shampoo. "Will you let her take your place?" Only the fighter in a tournament could allow another to replace them, after all.

Shampoo nodded. "That our family be represented is only right."

"Very well. I will tell your cousin."

* * *

"Damn, these chicks are good," Ranma said as she busily munched on corn on the cob. It was her lucky day, she reflected, that she came to this remote village on their tournament day. They had a funny setup with that log, though. The green-haired girl with the farmer's flail had easily disarmed her much larger opponent and then removed her from the log with a simple sweep. "She's got serious skill." 

"Ack! What you doing?" the guide yelped, noticing that both girl and panda were scarfing down the food as fast as they could.

"Huh? Is there a problem?" Ranma asked.

"This is prize for tournament, sirs!"

"Uh..." Ranma said, blinking, then turned around. The green haired chick was walking towards the table with a smirk on her lips.

"What is your problem, outlander girl? Can't you read?" Mifa said, crossing her arms and smirking mischeviously.

"She say 'What your problem, you no can read?'" the Guide translated.

Ranma thought quickly. "This is the prize for the tournament, right? Then if I beat you, there's no problem, right?"

"She is challenging you to a fight," the Guide translated, "to legitimize her eating the food." Mifa nodded, then jumped on the challenge log. Now, she thought, she had a really stupid dillema on her hands due to the outsider. Beat the crap out of her, be shamed for having her prize eaten, and kill the outsider, or lose, save face for both of them, and then be forced to kill her?

Put that way, there was only one choice. Hoping her opponent had decent skill in the art, she left a small opening in her stance as she rushed the outsider.

Cologne rolled her eyes at her great-granddaughter's decision. "Child, your thoughts are strange to me. Perhaps that is for the better," she murmured, unheard by anyone else.

Ranma was impressed despite herself; her opponent was just as good as she had thought, except for a tiny hole in her defenses. She smiled, maneuvered around the blow of the flail, and poked her in the chest with her foot, knocking her off the log. Mifa landed lightly and walked away.

Cologne's wagging finger brought her short.

Damn, no 'forgetting' the Kiss of Death, Mifa thought, and turned around to her red-headed opponent, who was currently posing in victory.

"Good match!" Ranma said happily in Japanese. She hadn't had a good opponent her age since that Ryoga kid back in Japan, even though this fight had been a lot shorter than some of her other fights. It was the quality, not the quantity, that mattered in battle.

Mifa tuned out the incomprehensible Japanese and looked at the happy face of her opponent and smiled. She bent down a bit, hugged the shorter girl, and kissed her softly on the cheek, then pulled back slowly.

"What the hell!" Ranma exclaimed, surprised.

"Is very bad, sirs, she give you kiss of death! Is promise to track you to the ends of the world and kill!" the Guide screamed, panicking. He grabbed Ranma's hand and pulled her along.

"Kiss of death?" Ranma asked in confusion, as Genma caught up to her and ran beside her.

"Is very big shame for Amazon to lose to outsider! Worse than death!" he explained.

Ranma's eyes went extremely wide. "Why didn't you tell me that!"

"Sorry!"

* * *

Mifa sighed and watched the outsider run away.

"You have to chase her, you know," Cologne said, hopping up from behind her. "And kill her," she added after a moment's thought. "The pride of the Amazons demands it."

"Yes, Great-grandmother," she said absently.

"Even to the ends of the earth."

"Yes, Great-grandmother," Mifa said, turning around. "I do know what is required of me." She walked to her family's house to pack.

"You win?" Shampoo asked as she entered the door. Her cousin was still sick, too sick to go outside, but that didn't dampen her enthusiasm. Shampoo had been the odds on favorite; if Mifa won, Shampoo would still be considered the best of the young fighters, considering the general opinion towards Mifa.

"I won," Mifa said, smiling. "But an outsider girl ate my prize. I let her kick me off the challenge log to settle the score."

Shampoo's eyes widened and she cooed. "My cousin is a sneaky one! You did that just so you could give her the kiss of death?"

Mifa smiled as she walked past Shampoo. "Yes, something like that."

* * *

Ranma and Genma had grown to expect it. Every few days, without fail, they would wake up in the morning and she would be waiting, patiently waiting for them to get up before attacking Ranma. In fact, it was getting to the point where the first thing Ranma would think of upon waking up was the lime green hair and lipstick she had as she smiled at her. 

Today was no exception.

"Nihao, wai ren!" was the almost expected greeting on waking up. A bowl of ramen was shoved in Ranma's face. "Eat up, I chase." the girl said as Ranma scrambled away, ignoring the proffered food. She had picked up a few Japanese words from somewhere.

Yes, Ranma ignoring food. That's how freaked out she was.

Mifa shrugged, slurped up the noodles, and started after them again. She figured she'd fight Ranma just before lunch, then again around sunset and call it a day. Tracking down their camp was always a fun chore, but it was worth it for their panic in the morning. Though lately they were getting used to that. Maybe it was time to change routines?

* * *

Mifa was sneaking towards the campfire and decided to spy on the outsider girl for a while. "Come on, pops, we need to heat it up before she finds us. She's looking for a girl and her panda, not two guys." Mifa didn't understanda word they said - she had picked up only the one Japanese phrase to use in the morning - and watched them heating up a pot of water over the campfire. Mifa found it odd; they weren't cooking anything, apparently. They also hadn't set up for the night. 

Ranma kept poking her finger in the water, waiting until the magical temperature was passed that would return her to manhood. When she finally judged the threshold to have passed, she quickly splashed the two of them with hot water.

"Damn, it feels good to be back!" Ranma said, patting himself down. "Come on, pops, let's make tracks and get some distance on her."

Mifa fell down in shock where she was. "The outsider girl is an outsider boy?" she asked herself, stunned. She dizzily got back to her feet and walked back to the Amazon village in a daze.

* * *

This one is mostly dead; I only released it on FFML two years ago. I'm thinking about working on it a bit, which is why I'm posting it. I'm also working on Fate, so don't worry, I'm just really bogged down right now. I expect chapter 11 of Fate should come out this month at some point, so don't worry. I'm alive and writing.  



	2. Another Default Chapter

Jin Lu Zi Lao Ch 1

A Ranma ½ Fanfic by PansutoTaro5925

* * *

DISCLAIMER: Ranma ½ is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Video. I make no claim to these properties. This fic not to be distributed for commercial gain.

* * *

Kasumi Tendo was walking home in the rain with a problem. Namely, that Ranma had recently defended Akane once again, and she felt this merited a special meal. However, as Ranma seemed to consider all her meals equally special, she couldn't think of anything new and interesting to treat him with after that skating match. She was so lost in thought, in fact, that she bumped into someone else who wasn't paying attention. 

"Ow! Shampoo sorry!" said the purple-haired Chinese girl as she brushed herself off. "Shampoo looking for cousin, she get lost in rain, Shampoo not see you-" Shampoo babbled, preoccupied, as Kasumi tuned her out.

"That's all right," Kasumi said gently, "no harm was done." Kasumi bowed slightly. "I hope you find your cousin."

That being said, they parted. Kasumi watched where she was going now, not wanting to get bumped again. That's how she saw the turtle, and an idea formed in her head.

* * *

Kasumi had prepared the stock and caught the escaping turtle for about the tenth time. She had put it in a cardboard box after the first few times it scooted away from the pot, but it had displayed a remarkable ability to escape from the box. Right now it was climbing the side. She thumped the box, knocking it on its back. 

"We're back!" Ranma announced loudly as she stepped soggily into the house. The rain, which had been merely bad before, had turned into a downpour. She wrung out her shirt, which earned a slap from Akane, and put it back on before entering the kitchen. "Hey!" Ranma asked, sniffing the air. "What are you cooking?"

"Oh, I decided to cook you something new for a change," Kasumi said merrily. "Turtle soup! The broth is ready now, so I'm going to put it in." She reached in and grabbed the turtle, which had flipped itself over and was scuttling in fear away from her hand. She grabbed it and picked it up. "In you go, Mr. Turtle!"

Neither of them was expecting a naked green Chinese girl to jump out of the pot. "Ahh!" she yelped, knocking over the pot, and then sitting down accidentally on the burner. "AIYAH! Hurt!" she screamed, jumping around.

"What the heck!" Ranma yelled, backpedalling. Then she recognized the girl. "Ahh! It's the crazy Amazon chick!" Ranma turned and slipped on the broth, falling down and knocking the green-haired girl on top of him.

"I give wrong kiss in China. You boy," Mifa said, hugging Ranma. "Woda Airen," she said, and kissed Ranma-chan passionately on the lips.

Akane, for her part, felt her eyes slowly widening and her temper building fast. What the hell was going on? Why was Ranma kissing this tramp in her kitchen? Her brain was overloaded; unable to form a coherent thought, she emitted a growl like an out of tune motorcycle in the corner as a battle aura popped into existence.

Mifa let the kiss go after a minute, giggling as Ranma had passed out in shock. Shampoo caved in the wall almost immediately after. "Mifa! Are you hurt?" she asked worriedly in Chinese, and pulled out her cousin's clothes and handed them to her.

* * *

The now fully dressed Mifa was sitting next to the still female and barely conscious Ranma in the Tendo's living room. Across was a very angry Akane and very confused Kasumi. 

"Who are you? And why did you kiss my fiancee like that?" Akane asked angrily. Her glare shifted from Ranma to Mifa to Shampoo, cycling faster and faster until she gave up and settled on Ranma.

"Fiancee?" Shampoo echoed curiously.

"Is OK, he not married to her," Mifa said. Mifa turned her attention to Akane. "I know Ranma from China. He fight in tournament in village, beat me. He girl at time. Law of Amazon say, outsider girl beat Amazon, Amazon need kill! Not know Ranma he. Chase Ranma, fight lots. Find out girl really boy. If outsider boy beat Amazon, must marry. Then I follow Ranma."

The Tendo sisters blinked. "I don't understand you," Akane said.

"Is clear to Shampoo," Shampoo said, blinking.

"Gah..." Ranma said, regaining her senses. "GAH!" She jumped away from the table, noting the presence of the Amazon.

"What's going on?" Soun Tendo asked as he walked in, mildly curious as to who the two girls were. Challengers? They seemed to be decently skilled martial artists, the green-haired one moreso than the purple-haired one.

"I don't know for sure, Daddy-" Kasumi ventured, still trying to make sense of Mifa's little speech.

"Hi! I is Mifa," Mifa said, introducing herself.

"Hello," Soun answered, bowing.

"And I Shampoo," Shampoo said, bowing as well, as Soun bowed again.

"-I think that one is Ranma's girlfriend from China," Kasumi finished uncertainly.

Soun froze mid-bow, then grabbed Ranma. "His WHAT?"

"That's not it at ALL!" Ranma protested angrily. She was, of course, completely ignored by everyone, and so took the opportunity to go grab a kettle from the kitchen.

"Nihao Ranma!" Mifa greeted Ranma as he returned to the room. She scooted over nearer Shampoo a bit.

"Son, you'd better have a good explanation for this," Soun said, inhaling sharply on his cigarette.

Ranma snorted. "I don't know nothin'."

"I don't believe that for a minute," Soun said, hooding his eyes at Ranma.

"She was trying to kill me back in China!" Ranma yelled.

Soun pointed at him accusingly. "So you do know something, liar!"

Mifa patted Ranma's arm. "I sorry, was big mistake!"

"Uh, yes,"Ranma stuttered, caught by surprise by someone actually apologizing to him before returning to his verbal duel with Soun. "I know she tried to kill me! I didn't know nothing about this stuff!"

"Another admission!" Soun yelled, going into full fledge Demon Head Mode. "That double negative is a confession! What are you hiding, Ranma?"

"I'm not hiding anything!" Ranma yelled back in exasperation.

"Ranma..." Akane growled, getting up from the table and looking darkly at the floor. "Our engagement is over!" With that she stomped out of the room.

"She seem very angry," Mifa noted.

"What are you doing here anyways?" Ranma asked the two Amazons. "I thought you gave up chasing me."

"You admit she was chasing you!" Soun yelled, his head looming up over everyone and his forked tongue hissing angrily. Mifa reached out with a single finger and, with a popping noise, the Demon Head technique vanished.

"You quiet! I is trying to talk to Airen!" Mifa said, and turned back to Ranma. "Sorry, you outsider boy who beat me. Outsider boy beat Amazon, Amazon must marry outsider boy. See? Very simple."

"That's... completely stone age. Why do you gotta marry me just 'cause I beat you?" Ranma grumbled.

"Is Amazon way," Shampoo answered. "For many century."

"Beside," Mifa said, "you good fighter."

"Heh," Ranma said, smiling. "I beat you, didn't I?"

"I throw fight that time," Mifa said, smiling.

"What!" Ranma screeched.

"Is true! She do it on purpose!" Shampoo giggled.

"But- no!" Ranma jumped up. "I can beat you!"

Mifa smiled. "You want fight again? I like that. Where fight?"

Ranma's eyes lit up with a competitive fire. "To the dojo!"

Watching from her window Akane had a single tear roll down her cheek. After a month of trying she couldn't get Ranma to fight her for real, and this Chinese hussy does it in one day.

* * *

"You going to use that flail of yours?" Ranma asked Mifa. She didn't have the weapon she had used to whack Genma and himself all over China. That had Ranma relax a bit. Her speed with that thing was pretty terrifying - not that he couldn't beat her if she used it, of course. 

"No have," Mifa said. She took a cat stance opposite Ranma, lime green hair a sharp contrast to the crimson silk pantsuit she was wearing. "You ready?" Ranma just smiled and relaxed into his informal stance.

Shampoo sat down by the wall and looked at the two of them. "Go!" she said in Chinese.

Neither fighter moved.

For about, oh, half a second.

Mifa immediately attacked after the initial pause, swinging into a very fast low kick aimed at Ranma's thighs. "You is good, know to wait," she said, as Ranma pushed off the kick into a more defensive stance.

"Why didn't you wait me out?" Ranma asked, as he parried her next few attacks. She didn't seem to be attacking too seriously yet, but she wasn't leaving any real holes for a counterattack, either.

"Boring to wait, is not big fight," Mifa said. "I fight real now, is OK?" she asked, smiling.

"Sure," Ranma thought, remembering Akane's promises to 'fight him for real now.' He saw an opportunity to punch Mifa - only she whipped out of its path and counterpunched him in the ribs.

"Too slow!" she said, and then her hands blurred. Ranma flew back against the far wall of the dojo.

"Shit!" Ranma gasped. How fast was she? She tagged him faster than he could even see. "Haveta get serious!" Ranma's guard closed up as best he could, and he put the pain in his ribs aside, moving forward confidently into a leap. Best to get this fight off the ground and give himself an advantage.

Mifa rolled backwards nimbly, away from his attack, and bounced lightly to her feet. She came flying back with a roundhouse kick to the head. Ranma easily caught the ambitious kick and easily sent her spinning away.

She's dangerous at range, I think, Ranma thought, so I'll crowd her. Moving right in as she got up, Ranma opened up his hands and readied himself for another barrage of punches. He planned to take the shots he couldn't block and wrestle her to the ground; her speed would be nullified in grappling.Her leg lanced out, blazingly fast, but Ranma took the shot, grunted in pain, and quickly locked her up and slammed her to the ground.

Mifa yelped slightly as her shoulder was rammed into the floor and analyzed her situation. One leg and both arms immobilized, not good. She couldn't reach him with a headbutt...

Mifa spit in Ranma's ear. "Gah!" he said, flinching involuntarily. In that moment of distraction her hand shot loose and smashed into his jaw, dislodging him, but not before he twisted her arm in the process. She leapt to her feet; her arm hung painfully at her side where it had been twisted. Probably a sprain. Ranma was a bit woozy from what she had done to his jaw.

"Ow," Ranma said, closing one eye and shaking his head. "That was gross, you know."

"No fight to lose, Airen!"

"Heh, my thoughts exactly," Ranma said, as he closed in. Leaping, his hand extended towards her. "The final blow!" Mifa flipped back, her foot blurring. Ranma coughed up weakly. "How ironic... irony sucks."

"Your husband lost," Shampoo said dumbly in Chinese.

"He did, didn't he?" Mifa said, smiling. She started laughing happily, took a horse stance, and punched at the air. "Ha! I win again! Invincible!"

"You went easy on him," Shampoo said.

"He hasn't learned the chestnut fist yet," Mifa said, still smiling. She picked up a bucket and walked out, Shampoo following.

"You're going to teach him our techniques?" Shampoo asked in bewilderment.

"Sure," Mifa said, filling the bucket - carefully - from the koi pond. "He is my husband, after all."

Shampoo looked at Mifa dubiously. "This isn't like you. You wouldn't be too happy about..." Her eyes went to the bucket. "I see."

"Why do you think great-grandmother gave us enough treasure to buy the restaurant? I won't go back to China. You know that." Mifa said. "Great-grandmother thinks I am an embarrasment to the tribe."

"He may not want to be married to you. He has that Akane girl. You know what they say about obstacles."

Mifa smiled as she threw the bucket of water on Ranma to wake him up. "I know Cologne sent you to spy on me, cousin. But you are not Cologne, and I have my own way of dealing with obstacles." Shampoo sniffed and turned away as Mifa crouched down next to the cursed girl.

"Nihao, Airen. You lose!" Mifa said playfully, and kissed her on the nose.

"Gack! Stop that!" Ranma cried out, wiping her nose. She stopped and smiled back at the Chinese girl. "You're fast. Too fast. How'd you get that fast?"

"Is secret Amazon technique. I show it to you if you want, husband," Mifa said, still smiling.

"I'm not your husband." Ranma snapped.

"I think you husband, Ranma." She giggled a bit, then lost some of her playfulness. "Maybe someday you think me wife. I wait. Very patient."

"About that technique..." Ranma started, scratching her head.

"Yes?" Mifa said, inching closer to the redhead.

"Don't tell me it right now," Ranma said, shaking her head. "I'm going to try to get that fast on my own."

Mifa smiled at that. "Good! Want spar tomorrow?"

Ranma didn't even pause. "You're on:

Mifa got up and ran off. "Bye bye, Ranma!"

* * *

"Boy!" Genma said, having been listening in on the last bit of that exchange. "How dare you go meeting some other girl behind your fiancee's back!" 

"Eh, pop?" Ranma asked, surprised. "She's no girl," Ranma said, steeling his eyes. "She's a challenge!"

* * *

FFnet has been behaving badly, eliminating horizontal rules in my stories. It's driving me nuts, anybody figured out a way to get FFnet to recognize them? 


	3. One More Default Chapter

﻿oo o o o o o o o o o o o ooJin Lu Zi Lao  
A Ranma ½ Fanfic by PansutoTaro5925  
oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

DISCLAIMER: Ranma ½ is the property of Rumiko Takahashi  
and Viz Video. I make no claim to these properties. This fic not  
to be distributed for commercial gain.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Ranma was lost in thought in much the same way that Ryouga  
was currently lost in a closet. That is, while much effort was  
being made, nothing was being accomplished. "Man," Ranma  
groused, "what kind of training can you do to get that fast? Her  
hands blurred... like..."

He thought back to that striek into his ribs - all the strikes into  
his ribs, all launched so fast that he would only get off a single  
blow. "That's some kinda reflexes, too, pulling the arm back so  
fast to strike again. She didn't just strike fast, after all, she  
struck often, too. They aren't quite the same thing."

"Why are you talking to yourself, Ranma?" Akane said, having  
watched this one-sided conversation from the doorway of the  
dojo. "Still sore about losing to a girl?"

"I ain't sore, you tomboy!" Ranma growled. "I just won't stay  
beat by her, is all."

Akane stuck her tongue out at Ranma. "I bet she beats you  
again, Ranma. Serves you right!"

"Gee, does that thought make you happy?" Ranma snapped. He  
wished Akane would leave him alone for a while. He was trying  
to think; couldn't she stop pestering him. Akane just harumphed  
and stomped off. "Feh, finally."

Ranma considered possibilities for a while, but still went  
nowhere. "Maybe I need a walk to clear my head."

Kasumi's voice rang out then from the kitchen. "Ranma!  
Genma! Akane! Breakfast is ready!" Lazily getting to his feet,  
Ranma strolled over to the table to eat, and maybe think for a  
bit.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

"Class, we have a new student joining us all the way from  
China. Everyone please give a big 'Nihao' welcome to Mifa,"  
the teacher said, waving to the green haired girl. Mifa wrote her  
name on the board in large Chinese characters and turned  
around.

"Nihao!" she said, laughing. "I no speak Japanese good," she  
said, getting a wave of amused snickers from some members of  
the class. She suppressed a frown strongly; all that was revealed  
was a slight twitch in her eye, "but, I think I learn it quick, yes?  
I speak no Japanese ever, before one month ago."

"Well, yes. You can take the empty seat over by the window.  
Class, please open your books to page 73..." the teacher said,  
droning on. Mifa tuned him out for a minute and carefully  
scanned the class. Apart from Ranma and Akane, there seemed  
to be no martial artists in the class. That was a little surprising  
to her. The boys in the class were almost uniformly leering at  
her, too. She sniffed and turned away. She could pound all of  
them to jelly in a minute if she needed to.

Silly Mifa, she told herself, not everywhere is like the village,  
surrounded by Musk and Pheonix and all manner of threats. The  
people of Japan didn't have some universal need to learn the  
martial arts from a young age. Maybe she could set up some  
classes with Shampoo to teach the basics? Nah, that was what  
the dojo Ranma's angry fiancee had was for. Better stick to  
food.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

At lunch Mifa sat in a tree and watched Ranma quietly. "Nihao,  
Mifa. Fresh hot lunch!" Shampoo called out, jumping over the  
walls. Whereas the group of boys who had been pestering her  
earlier gave up in the face of stone cold dismissal and the fact  
that she was in a tree, the singsong tones of her cousin's voice  
drew their attention like a magnet. "Aiyah! These perverts are  
as bad as Mousse!" she yelled, as she smashed a path through  
them to Mifa's tree.

"What the hell are those morons doing?" Ranma mumbled,  
watching the horde.

"Damn, she's sweet!" Hiroshi said, looking at Shampoo.

"She's some sort of Chinese warrior woman with the manners  
of a cavewoman," Ranma said, hoping to instill a bit of common  
sense in his friends.

"She can drag me to her cave any day," Daisuke said reverently,  
with Hiroshi nodding assent. "You say she'd marry us if we  
beat her in a fight?"

"Yeah, that's their stupid law, all right," Ranma said.

Ranma's classmates looked at each other with determination in  
their eyes. They bowed deeply before him. "Instruct us, o  
sensei!"

"Knock it off!" Ranma yelled.

Shampoo, for her part, finally succeeded in dissuading the  
crowd from annoying her, partly because she had piled up an  
impressive mound of unconscious bodies and partially because  
she had climbed up in the tree alongside her cousin. "They don't  
give up easily, do they?" she asked.

"Nope! Give me some of that ramen," Mifa said, holding out  
her hands. Taking her bowl of noodles in hand, she  
appreciatively slurped up the noodles and broth.

"So," Shampoo asked slyly, "have you spent time with your  
husband today?"

"No, not yet," Mifa said quietly, continuing to eat at an  
unhurried pace.

Shampoo's eyes bugged. "What?"

"Not everyone moves as fast as you would," Mifa said. She ate  
her noodles for a while more. Shampoo waited her out.She'd  
elaborate in due time, if she could put her opinions in words at  
all. It took a while, but Mifa finally put aside her bowl of  
noodles and continued the thought. "I don't move that fast. I  
don't think Ranma moves that fast, either, not in love." Mifa  
looked at Shampoo, her face very serious and very calm. "He  
should know me as a person before he thinks of me as a wife, I  
think."

"So that's why you want him to spar with you?" Shampoo  
asked, impressed.

"No," Mifa said, smiling, "I want him to spar with me because  
he fights well."

"Oh."

"But it is a nice side benefit, don't you think?"

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Ranma wandered through Nerima aimlessly after class. He still  
didn't have an idea for speed training that would let him match  
that weird Chinese girl. Even though his father had always  
lectured against the evils of eating it, he found himself stopping  
in front of a McDonald's. "Feh, all I want is something to drink  
anyways," Ranma said as he walked inside.

Patiently waiting in line, Ranma got fed up with reading the  
various advertisements and signs up in the store and looked in  
the rear of the store. A guy was trying to fish fries out of a deep  
fryer and was jerking his hand back as the hot oil bubbled and  
popped unexpectedly. Ranma smiled a bit at his frustrated  
attempts at grabbing the fries with a short pair of tongs.  
Suddenly, it hit him.

"Hey, can I help you?" the cashier asked, trying to get his  
attention.

"No thanks, you already did," Ranma breathed, and took off  
towards the supermarket. He had a sudden appetite for fried  
food.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Ranma was walking home with a bag full of groceries when he  
spied a turtle walking down the side of the street. Ignoring the  
startled reactions of passerby, he picked it up and looked it in  
the eye. "Excuse me, but are you Mifa?"

The turtle slowly nodded its head.

"Man, your curse bites. I'll bring you back to the Tendo place  
and get you some hot water, OK?" Ranma put her under his  
other arm like a football and jogged off to the Tendo residence.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

"Ranma!" Kasumi said, noticing the brown grocery bags. "You  
went shopping for me?" She moved to get them, but he pulled  
them out of her reach.

"Nope, I bought this for martial arts training," he answered.

"From the grocer's?" Kasumi asked, puzzled.

"Yeah. Hey, can you get some hot water for Mifa here? I think  
she got splashed somewhere," Ranma asked, as he took out a  
few bottles of vegetable oil.

"Ranma, were you out with that girl?" Kasumi asked sternly.

"No, I found a turtle wandering the streets," he shot back.  
"Maybe I better just let you jump in the furo." Ranma walked  
over to his room, grabbed a muscle tee and shorts, and put them  
inside the bathroom. "Here, you can use these after you  
change," Ranma said, setting the turtle on the edge of the furo.  
"I've got some martial arts training to do now."

After Ranma left Mifa sat up out of the steaming water and  
blinked. "I wonder what kind of method he's going to use?" she  
muttered, then got out and got dressed. She walked out to go  
check.

"What are you doing here? Go away!" Akane said, seeing the  
foreign girl in her living room.

"Nihao," Mifa said dryly. "I glad seeing you also."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"I was splashed. Hot water here," Mifa said, pointing to the  
furo. "You have problem?"

"He shouldn't have brought you here," Akane said, getting in  
the Chinese girl's face. Damn, Akane thought, she's taller than I  
am.

"He supposed to leave me on side of road?" Mifa said, glaring  
back. Two could play at this staredown game...

"Oh, hello there!" Kasumi said, breaking the tension. She  
looked a little charigned. "I'm sorry, I never apologized for  
nearly boiling you the other day. I'm very sorry."

"Is no need for apology," Mifa said, scratching her head. "Ah  
heh, I try boil pig in China, was boy. Happen to me too." And I  
didn't apologize, Mifa thought. She made a mental note to if  
she ever saw him again, which was unlikely given that the  
indicent happened in China. Mifa quickly used her exchange  
with Kasumi to break away from Akane and scoot over to the  
dojo.

"Hey!" Akane said, following her.

Ranma was in the dojo with a bag of yen coins and a large pot  
of water. Next to the far wall was a strange assortment of stuff:  
chopped wood, bottles of cooking oil, and bags of frozen french  
fries. He looked up from what he was doing and smiled. "Hi  
Mifa, hi Akane!" He waved before looking back at the pot of  
water.

"I thought you were just here to change back!" Akane yelled at  
Mifa.

"I just want to see what he do here," Mifa said. Akane pushed  
her out of the dojo. "What is problem?"

"You." Akane stated simply.

"Why am I problem?" Mifa said.

Akane glared at her. "You just are. You're trying to marry  
Ranma just because he beat you in a fight, and you've followed  
him all the way from China just to bother him about it."

"I thought you no want Ranma?" Mifa said. "You say  
engagement over yesterday."

Akane ground her teeth and shut her eyes, trying - mostly  
unsuccessfully - to suppress a rising anger. "I was angry at the  
time."

"So you do want Ranma?" Mifa asked, smiling. This was fun.

"No!" Akane snapped.

"Why problem, then?" Mifa asked, smirking wider.

"Just because!"

Mifa smirked and turned away. "I go now, he not started yet.  
We distract him lots." She waved and jumped up onto the wall  
and out of the yard.

"What a bitch," Akane mumbled, and turned around. "What are  
you doing anyways, Ranma?"

"Just some training. She beat me bad yesterday, her speed is  
incredible. I've never seen anything like it before," Ranma said,  
staring at the pot of water.

"She's that fast?" Akane said, surprised.

"Yeah," Ranma answered, "but I'm not going to sit on my ass  
and mope about it. I'm going to become even faster and kick  
her ass." Ranma smiled as he stared into the water. He pulled  
over a thermos he had handy. "Using cold water sucks, but it  
can't be helped."

"You want to beat her up?" Akane said, surprised again. Her  
surprise changed to anger for a second - he enver fought her  
seriously - then to a nasty smile. "Do you need help?"

"No, just time. Why?" Ranma asked, obliviously.

"Oh, nothing," Akane said, rubbing the back of her head. "I'll  
leave you alone, then. What are you doing, though?"

Wordlessly Ranma took a heaping handful of yen coins and  
dumped them in the bottom, then his hand shot forwards,  
blurring, as he grabbed every coin before it hit the bottom of the  
pot. "Wow, that's fast. She's that much faster?" Akane  
breathed. Ranma had changed from all the water splashing all  
over, which he wiped up with a towel before pouring a bit of  
hot water from the thermos over her head.

Ranma nodded once. "Much faster." Akane got up and left,  
leaving Ranma to practice.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

"Hello, Shampoo," Mifa said upon entering the soon-to-be-  
restaurant. It had been a wreck the day before, but now was in  
decent shape inside. Shampoo had spent the day cleaning the  
place up. A black and white TV was playing on a table, which  
Shampoo was staring through without really watching it.

"Huh?" Shampoo said, snapping out of her trancelike state.  
"Have a fun day?"

"School is boring," Mifa said, "but a good opportunity to speak  
Japanese. I hate sounding like an idiot."

"Drop in on your husband?" Shampoo purred, teasing her  
cousin.

"As a matter of fact, yes," Mifa said, turning a chair around  
backwards and sitting down. She leaned her elbow on the  
backrest and smiled. "He's already come up with his own  
variant on the chestnut fist training."

Shampoo's eyes widened. "So fast?"

Mifa nodded enthusiatically. "Very! So, how went your search  
for a husband, Shampoo?"

Shampoo sniffed. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Mifa smiled. "Cologne sent you, and not someone else. Sent  
you someplace far away from Mousse - for now."

Shampoo shuddered. "He'll find me. He always does."

"Still, you have a little freedom from his interference, for now."

"That's true. Want to spar a bit?"

"Of course!"

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Ranma took his seat at the Tendo dinner table slowly, his shirt  
soaked with sweat and the sleeves rolled up. Bandages covered  
his arms. "Ranma, are you OK?" Akane asked.

"He was sticking his hands in boiling water," Nabiki said,  
chewing on a piece of chicken. "I took photos for proof your  
fiancee finally went off the deep end."

"Boiling water? What are you trying to accomplish, boy?"  
Genma asked, grabbing Ranma's arm.

"Ow! Stop that, old man, you got any idea how much that  
hurts?" Ranma cried, yanking his arm back. An evil smile  
crossed his face. "Just for that-"

Ranma's arms blurred impossibly, and Genma's food just  
seemed to vanish. Ranma picked up his now overflowing bowl  
and began shoveling it in as fast as possible, keeping the bowl  
easily ahead of his father's attempts to get his food back as he  
nimbly moved it out of the path of the chopsticks. Ranma put  
down the almost empty bowl and burped. Not a soul had  
moved, shocked at the impressive display.

Genma broke down in tears. "My own son! Stealing the food  
from his starving father!"

"You? Starving?" Ranma asked incredulously.

Akane smiled. "Ranma! So you've learned how to match her  
speed already?"

Ranma looked at her seriously, then down at his arms. "No."

"No?" Akane said, her eyes widening. "You still aren't fast  
enough?"

"If I were as fast as her, I would be able to get the coins  
without burning my hands. I'm not that fast yet. And when I'm  
finished," Ranma said, growling, "I'll be even faster."

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Have I found a 'scene break' which FFnet won't strip and force me to manually reinsert on every chapter upload? I believe I have!  



	4. Yet Again Default Chapter

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Jin Lu Zi Lao

A Ranma ½ Fanfic by PansutoTaro5925

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

DISCLAIMER: Ranma ½ is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Video. I make no claim to these properties. This fic not to be distributed for commercial gain.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

The next morning Ranma walked down to breakfast only to be handed something by Nabiki. "What's this?" Ranma asked, opening it.

"A challenge letter from Ryoga. I forgot to give it to you last night, too busy being dazzled by your hand speed last night. Say, I have a business proposition for you," Nabiki said, as Ranma was semidistracted by the challenge letter. "Could I get you to challenge a few people to this simple shell game? It's very-"

"No," Ranma said, interrupting her. "Heh, Ryoga wants to fight today. What are the odds of that happening?"

"I'll give you five to one against," Nabiki answered.

"Sold!" Ranma said, shaking Nabiki's hand. "I bet a thousand yen," he said, before walking off to train some more.

"Easiest thousand I ever made," Nabiki said to herself after he left. "Ryoga's set up camp behind the school." That's how she had gotten the letter, after all. She chuckled to herself as she walked over to the bathroom.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Shampoo blearily greeted her cousin as she came down the stairs. "You snore. Loudly," she complained, "and often."

Mifa was eating her breakfast and blnked. "So? Didn't you close your door?"

"You also sleepwalk," Shampoo continued, "and opened it."

"Oh."

"I'm buying a lock at the hardware store today," Shampoo grumbled, before getting herself some breakfast as well.

"Are you going to bring me some more ramen at school today?" Mifa asked.

"Of course," Shampoo replied, "after I take a nice, long nap." Mifa nodded and went back to change into the stupid, worthless in fighting outfit they wanted all the female students to wear. She paused. Ranma blew off the stupid uniforms, too. Why not her?

Taking up her school stuff, Mifa walked off to Furinkan High.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Lunch started much like yesterday - Mifa and Shampoo in a tree, surrounded by much of Furinkan's male population - excepting the fact that Nabiki hung around Ranma like a dark cloud of doom.

"Will you get out of my sunshine?" Ranma asked her crossly, turning around to look at her. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Just waiting," Nabiki answered.

"For what?"

"For Ryoga. Here he comes now. Can I have my thousand yen now?" Nabiki asked, holding out her hand. Ranma stood up and handed her the yen in annoyance and walked over to Ryoga. The crowd of boys over by Shampoo and Mifa quickly shifted focus to the expected fight.

"What's going on?" Shampoo asked her cousin. "Who's that fighting your husband."

Mifa's face paled. "He's the pig-boy I nearly killed in China. What's he doing here?"

"Fighting Ranma, apparently."

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Ryoga unslung his umbrella and let his backpack slide off his shoulders. He flipped it aside, unwilling to let its weight hinder him in the fight. Ranma was too quick to face with that kind of handicap. "I've been training, Ranma."

"So have I, Ryoga," Ranma answered. Unspoken was the part that said 'just not for you.' Ranma cracked his knuckles, his arms still covered in bandages. He winced as pain shot up his arms. The burns on his hands and arms would certainly make punching Ryoga fun. Still, he relaxed into his stance and beckoned for Ryoga to attack. "Come on, porky, show me what you've got," he taunted with a huge grin on his face

"Fine. You'll take that smile," Ryoga yelled as he darted forward, swinging the umbrella in a grand, powerful backhanded sweep, "to the afterlife!" Ranma bent backwards at the waist, dcuking the blow, then leaping after the return stroke and pushing off Ryoga's head with his foot to flip lightly to Ryoga's left. "Just die!" Ryoga said, stabbing at Ranma with the tip of the umbrella. Ranma danced nimbly about the umbrella and slapped him.

"You're going to need to try a little harder than that, P-chan," Ranma taunted. He ducked another frenzied swing from Ryoga and slapped his opponent on the other cheek.

"Stop slapping me, you little girl!" Ryoga roared as Ranma continued to dodge around. Ranma's eyes narrowed and he punched Ryoga in the gut the next time. Waves of pain shot up his hand as the burned tissue split painfully and began to bleed.

I can't punch him again, Ranma thought. If I tear up my arms, I won't be able to continue my training today. "Hey, Ryoga. I bet I can beat you up using nothing but my feet."

"What?" Ryoga said, before Ranma kicked him in the chin. Ryoga grabbed the offending leg and smashed his umbrella into Ranma's hip, causing Ranma to hop away as his leg went numb.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

"He's not too bad," Shampoo noted as the fight wore on. "Slow, but strong and very tough."

"Are you thinking about challenging him?" Mifa asked Shampoo. Ryouga wasn't her type, for obvious reasons - she considered herself to have been unimaginably fortunate to be beaten by Ranma - but for another Amazon...

Shampoo shrugged. "I don't know. Depends on how well he does here, I guess."

Mifa shrugged and turned back to the fight.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Ranma hopped back. He kept his hands loose and untightened, not wanting to aggravate the burns. He had a couple of bruises on him and a cut above his eye that was going to be very annoying if this fight continued.

Ryoga was in worse shape. His right eye was nearly swollen shut from Ranma's repeated kicks at his face, and he was favoring his left side, probably because Ranma had worked it over with punishing kicks. His right side was more protected by his umbrella, mostly because Ryoga had taken to keeping it open in front of himself like a shield and lashing out at Ranma with his fist from around the edges. It was an inspired tactic Ranma hadn't expected to see from Ryoga. Kicking around it was dangerous because he kept the thing spinning like a buzzsaw.

It was unlikely Ryoga could keep it up without growing tired, Ranma thought, but there wasn't much time during the lunch break left and he had no particular desire to be late. Finally he made up his mind and lashed out with another kick.

Up came the spinning umbrella to deflect the high kick, momentarily masking Ranma from his opponent. Ranma kicked out his other leg and braced with both hands on the ground, yelling as his burned hands sent their opinions of the move to his brain. The umbrella jerked to a halt in Ryoga's hands and Ranma kicked it, correctly guessing that the twisting motion had loosened the lost boy's grip on his weapon.

The handle flew in and struck Ryoga with a loud THWACK in the collarbone, and he dropped the umbrella. Ranma quickly sprung back to his feet and rained kicks on Ryoga, knocking him off his feet.

"Ranma, enough!" Akane yelled. "You've beaten him enough!"

Akane, Ryoga thought, looking to the side. She pities me. Pities me because... "No!" Ryoga said, getting to his feet and lunging at Ranma. "This isn't-"

In an eerie re-enactment of an earlier fight with Kuno, Ranma cartwheeled away from his opponent, his leg blurring out kicks hitting every vital point square on. Ranma put his hands in his pockets and walked away.

"...ow..." Ryoga said softly, then collapsed.

Akane ran after Ranma, stepping on the unconscious Ryoga in the process. "Ranma!" she yelled. "You didn't need to beat him that badly."

"What? Are you blind, tomboy?" Ranma blurted angrily. "He wasn't down yet and he wasn't giving up!"

"Ranma, you jerk, I wasn't referring to that. You embarrassed him in front of the whole school, beating him without using your hands," Akane growled.

Ranma held out his bandaged arms. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Sane training methods, just maybe?" Akane shouted back.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

"Not bad," Mifa said, still talking to Shampoo. "He has potential. You going to chase him?" she asked, hopping down out of her tree. The bell rang, drawing all the students to the door like a magnet, but she remained to talk a bit to her cousin.

Shampoo nodded happily. "A strong warrior who isn't Mousse, it's just what I want."

"Maybe you should wait, see if anybody else is a better fighter?" Mifa asked. Shampoo could be far too hasty for Mifa's tastes, always seeming to take a shortcut, always looking for the fastest way to do something. Then again, she was well aware that her cousin considered her to be dreadfully slow to do anything.

"You're going to visit your husband today, right?" Shampoo asked, frowning.

"Yes, Cologne," Mifa said flatly.

"Hey!" Shampoo said.

Mifa turned and ran for the door. "See you after class! Bye bye!" she yelled over her shoulder, quickly scooting inside and away from her cousin.

Shampoo sighed and picked up the remains of lunch. Walking out of the gate she shook her head. If her cousin didn't start pursuing Ranma a bit more agressively, she'd have to help her along.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Ranma was busy killing time while is equipment heated up. Well, actually, he was removing his bandages and looking at the tender, pink flesh that was revealed, skin that had been repeatedly scalded the day before. "I swear, Saotome," Nabiki said, looking over his shoulder, "what are you, some sort of masochist?"

"Ranma," Akane said worriedly. "You don't need to push yourself this hard. All she did was beat you in a fight, right? It's no big deal." Ranma twitched, but didn't reply. Smiling, Akane continued: "Why don't you just forget about that Amazon girl?"

Ranma tensed. "I don't lose fights, Akane. I just lose rounds. I ain't starting to lose any fights now." Nabiki calmly loaded her camera in the background, as Ranma crushed the can of soda he was carrying. Ranma turned around to look Akane in the eye. "I can't forget, Akane, not until I beat her."

Akane growled. "Then why don't you train with me, instead of practicing cooking your hands like you are now. It might help you fight a girl if you actually, you know, actually fight one?"

"I can't do that, Akane," Ranma said.

"Oh?" Akane said, "Why not? You fought her. You fought Kodachi. You fought that weird little skater girl, I forget her name-"

"Azusa," Ranma supplied absently.

"Azusa," Akane continued, "but you won't fight me?" Akane slammed her fist down on the table, causing it to crack slightly. "WHY?" she demanded.

"Uh," Ranma thought frantically, looking for a reason. "Because you aren't a challenge?" No sooner did he blurt it out than he realized it was a spectacularly wrong answer.

Akane fairly crackled with anger, looked around, saw nothing really suitable for smashing Ranma with but a cracked table, and elected to kick her fiancee into the pond. "Ranma, you jerk, I hope she beats you like a drum!" With that she ran up the stairs and into her room.

Ranma surged out of the koi pond, water sloshing everywhere as she went, and walked into the dojo. "OK, that was a stupid answer. Why don't I just shut up?"

"I don't know, Saotome, you tell me?" Nabiki asked, holding out a kettle.

"Why are you being so nice?" Ranma asked. She was automatically suspicious of strange things - like a generous Nabiki.

"Kuno wouldn't pay for photos of his pigtailed girl sticking her hands in boiling water and oil," she explained, following him.

Ranma snorted and poured the hot water over his head. "As long as you don't distract me, I don't care."

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo

Mifa lounged in her chair and flipped through the various channels. There wasn't anything on, but the novelty of the TV hadn't worn off on her yet. Besides, the chattering Japanese would help her language, she rationalized. At least the Turtle House was ready to go, the floors polished, counter sparkling, and all the dishes cleaned and waiting. After all, she was going to be living here, and she'd need to earn a living. "I just wish it wouldn't cut into my training."

"What training?" Shampoo asked, coming down the stairs. "All I see is you sitting in front of the TV." Shampoo paused at the bottom of the stairs, leaning on the railing. "I thought you were going to see your husband?"

"Yes, Cologne," Mifa said, precisely duplicating her earlier tone and expression. Shampoo immediately grabbed a broom and, turning it upside down, shakily balanced on the tip, crouched over to approximate the smallness of her elder.

"Don't disrespect your great-grandmother, Mifa!" Shampoo said, in a gravelly voice that sounded nothing like Cologne, but was extremely funny nonetheless. "Why can't you - oof!" Shampoo said, tripping on her hair as she attempted to pogo forward as her great-grandmother did. Mifa fell out of her chair in hysterics.

When she finally regained her voice, Mifa sat up. "If Cologne saw us, we'd be cleaning every toilet in the village!"

"It's a good thing she's in China, right?" Shampoo asked.

"Right," Mifa said. "I'll go over and check on Ranma anyways. I wouldn't want to rush her, but I need to organize a rematch anyways." Mifa charged out the door and jumped up on the rooftops, bouncing away out of sight.

Shampoo shook her head at the slip. Her cousin was entirely too slow. She'd have to do something about that. Fortunately, her great-grandmother had given her the means of doing so.

Shampoo's planning was disrupted when the door was flung open. "Shampoo! I've finally found you!" came the voice of the prson she was least interested in seeing.

"Hello, stupid Mousse," Shampoo said, closing her eyes angrily.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o oo


End file.
